I'm just a guy
July 23, 2022•859 words
I’m just a guy. A guy who loves to think about and do almost everything, even if not very well. A guy who spreads himself thin across a hundred different pursuits and would probably benefit from prescription medications but prefers to live enraptured in the creative chaos. A guy who has been making incredible self-development progress but is also, in some ways, right back where he was a decade prior.
I’m just a guy who loves to walk around and behold the miracles of nature. A guy who wants to talk to everyone and understand every perspective and offer encouraging words. A guy who would be content listening to audiobooks, hiking around and writing, not making any money but feels like he should understand and harmonize all of his interests & capabilities for great change.
I’m just a guy who loves to practice archery, mostly as a meditative form of Zen, and soon practicing mixed martial arts and taking SCUBA diving lessons. A guy who enjoys attending renaissance faires, music festivals and virtually any community event. A guy who enjoys long drives and walks on the beach as much as visiting museums and zoos.
I’m just a guy who co-founded some clubs & hackathons, created & lead internship programs and was involved in hiring processes, and had some team & organizational leadership positions but quit for self-critical reasons arising from addictions and trying to fit in the wrong crowds. A guy who somehow impressed at every internship and job but fell off from a complex result of boredom and uncontrolled interest in a hundred things outside of work. A guy who who gets along with most everyone but consistently dismissed encouragement and praise from friends, managers and strangers.
I’m just a guy who was given incredible privileges & opportunities but shamefully didn’t stick to any of them. A guy who moved & traveled too often growing up to have lasting friendships but gained myriad perspectives of the world. A guy who loves learning about all sorts of subjects, from physics to artificial intelligence to the humanities, but doesn’t feel like pursuing them in a structured way.
I’m just a guy who has a repressed, underdeveloped entrepreneurial spirit. A guy who has had exposure to startups, organization & project management, stakeholder relationships and networking. A guy who is capable of doing more of that but has a gap of many years and is having to learn & re-learn much, who could benefit from exposing himself to it via joining an existing company or perhaps being forged through the fire of entrepreneurship.
I’m just a guy who played a bit of every sport and who spent nearly 100,000 hours playing every type of game. A guy who feels like he should pursue game development because of his breadth of perspective, his heart’s desire, his former peak happiness in a 2-year long game development academy a decade ago, his longing for making something during his darkest moments, his stacks of notebooks and digital notes & spreadsheets since middle school of not only mere game & mod ideas but of thinking through everything from gameplay experience, balancing, physics, storytelling, audio & music, UI, AI, etc. A guy who erroneously listened to naysayers it wasn’t worth pursuing for a variety of inept and short-sighted reasons like burnout, low pay and doesn’t contribute anything to the world, who then pursued a career in web/app development making things that don't really contribute anything to the world.
I’m just a guy who loves to cook, take care of the house, garden and do stay-at-home-husband type things. A guy who has had great relationships fall into his lap and wonders if the same will happen again or if he needs to actively search. A guy who knows/thinks that search can’t begin without getting back on his feet professionally.
I'm just a guy who recently began exploring meditation, spirituality in all its forms and the nature of consciousness & metaphysics. A guy who sometimes writes poetry & songs and thinks about inventions & systemic changes to improve the world. A guy who desires to help save the reefs & ocean ecosystems.
I’m just a guy who is emerging from the wilderness, more confident and self-knowing than ever before but is still actively figuring out the best use of his talents & aptitudes. A guy who has multiple incredible opportunities in front of him and could reasonably handle them if he didn’t have the almost-imaginary stress of money, trusting that money will flow when the honest work is done. A guy who has been applying and interviewing for jobs for that monetary stability but is strongly mindful of burnout and wanting to have the time & energy to commit to several active projects as well as all his non-professional interests during the week.
I'm just a guy who experiences the ups & downs of life. A guy who has a wild active imagination & intellect yet hasn't figured out how to channel them properly. A guy who wants to see the world improve through better systems and a global renaissance of love, compassion and unitive One-ness.
I'm just a guy.